I write sex
In the romance genre, “sweet” means that the writer will turn away from the sex, fading out or closing the bedroom door. It seems to imply that sex is not a meaningful and crucial aspect of the increasing closeness between two people (the whole point of a romance) and/or that we all do it the same.
I accept neither!
I love how we reveal our deepest selves in the multiplicity of ways we express our sexuality. The character who wants to fuck and doesn’t care about anything but getting us both off makes me swoon. So does the tender lover who gets maudlin in the middle of things because of a stray thought about mortality and loneliness. We are ourselves, full and real and huge, in our sexual moments just as we are in life’s other opportunities.
As for the idea that we all fuck the same, well…pshaw. The building blocks of sexual diversity – gender identity, sexual and romantic orientation, preferred relationship style, and the myriad ways we relate to our own bodies and the bodies of others – are a robust and fun starting point in erotica, and the journey can go deep into the different kinds of arousal we experience. As an erotica writer, I want to stimulate you viscerally, sexually, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Sexuality is sometimes framed as a lower form of animal behavior taking us over. I think that the most amazing thing about sexuality is that it can be layered onto or integrated into all these other highly complex and deeply fascinating ways of being. That sexuality itself is highly complex and deeply fascinating.